A BDSM relationship’s infancy is a delicate period. Even after learning about each other’s “quirks,” preferences, triggers, worldview, and everything in between, one or both partners may still be on the hot seat.. Even if these sessions are fluid or erotic, the first few intimate encounters usually involve some stress. The process of falling in love may seem magical, but there are a number of unknown variables that could cause the relationship to fizzle out.
The stakes are even higher in a D/s relationship because of the inherent risk in dominance and submission. No matter how initially enamoured you are with your partner, trust takes time and experience to build with a person. To get from point A to point B, one must be vulnerable on both sides of the equation. If you’ve ever been scalded while on a quest, this should be enough to put you on edge.
If you’ve met someone you like and your fantasies include a life of kinky bliss, here are 10 tips for making it through the first months of your relationship successfully.
Ensure That You Are Ready For A Bdsm Or Sm Relationship Before You Start Looking For Someone
If you don’t know what you want or aren’t ready to do the work, it’s not fair to you or the people you spend time with to start a relationship. Especially when recovering, still clinging to their ex, or going through a divorce or not, it is common for people to believe they are prepared when they aren’t.
When partners are open and exploratory, D/s relationships can deepen quickly. Taking a risky dive and then having to tiptoe back into damage control mode increases your chances of injuring your teammates.
Don’t be afraid to say exactly what you’re looking for and what you’re willing to give RIGHT NOW in your communication. Declare your desire for unrestricted fun, even if it means you won’t be able to play with someone you care about. If you’re not looking for something serious, don’t flirt with every dominant or submissive you’re attracted to while claiming to be looking for it as well.
Be Prepared For Both Challenges And Opportunities To Have A Good Time
The dating world is a place where everyone has something to work toward. A side of 24/7 submissiveness with extra mustard and pickles would be appreciated.
Clearly, the problem is that a sandwich is not a person. We’re all flawed beings with desires, fears, and flaws. When you finally meet someone who you think you could be compatible with, your mind will try to squeeze them into the impossible-to-fit box you’ve created for your ideal partner. Finally, he will disappoint you and the fantasy will crumble, leaving you to wonder whether or not you and your new best friend are compatible after all.
Your new best friend is not and will never be the romantic partner of your dreams, regardless of how well he fits your ideal. For any committed relationship to be successful it must be willing to deal with the challenges of misunderstandings, disagreements, hurt feelings, and doubt. Have a strategy in place for dealing with your partner if you don’t like something about them. You and your partner are setting yourself up for failure if you only hope for good times.