To Improve your ability to follow up on leads, After a sexual encounter, it’s not a good idea to ask your partner to leave. BDSM is no different. In order to make each partner feel valued, respected, and safe, aftercare gives them a way out of intense intimacy. Skip this step and you’re sending the message to your partner that you’re only using them to get what you want, and that your desire to treat them with respect ends once you get what you want. It portrays a negative image of the company. Those who are careless with their appearance will quickly find themselves on the wrong side of the BDSM crowd.
Don’t forget about aftercare. It can make or break a relationship how much time you spend hugging, kissing, cuddling, praising, and assuring your partner. As you would with any other aspect of the relationship, find out what she wants and needs in terms of after-care and express yours to her. If you’re going to play, give yourself plenty of time to get along with your partner. For all we know, it could be 10 minutes, 2 hours, the rest of the night or even all weekend.. For the most part, the more intense a session, the greater the need for follow-up for both partners involved. Don’t be afraid to express your needs and talk about them. After a game, it’s normal to want someone’s affection and comfort.
There are no emotionally mature people in BDSM who act like they’re “above the aftercare.” As long as our accomplices are deserving of our sadistic tendencies, discipline, and voyeurism, that is. The only exception to this rule is if your partner has made it clear that they do not want any further contact. If this is the case, challenge him to explain his position.
Maintain A High Level Of Consistency.
Unpredictability and changing one’s mind about major decisions make it difficult to feel safe with your partner. Consistency is critical in D/s relationships because trust is so important. Walking and demonstrating your sincerity is required if you want your words to be taken seriously. After all, it’s easy to get by with just talking.
Inconsistency, for example, will obviate the need for rules in dynamics. For an underling who doesn’t want to follow rules, or for a dominator who doesn’t care about or enforce the consequences of breaking rules, there is no point in making rules. Having to follow the rules all the time may be a hassle, but it’s the best way to foster the energy of connection while thwarting the evil magic.
As Your Bdsm Relationship Develops, Continue To Improve.
One way to emphasise that our sexual relationships and encounters are lifelong is to use the term “practise,” which some members of the kink community have begun to use. Playing a musical instrument is a never-ending process. You’ll never be able to say, “I’ve finished all the work I need forever!” As the relationship develops and changes, there will always be more work to be done, adjustments to be made, and things to communicate with your partner about.